What a year...

The year started with a precariously difficult situation. 70% of the batch was placed and I was still looking for an internship opportunity. My CGPA was still screwed up and I wasn't sure what I wanted in my life. I was still juggling between FINANCE and MARKETING as a career option, though CDG's classes in Trim II had helped undo the damage Racchappa had meted in Trim I.

Then, on a what i thought was a good day, i got through Adventity. And then I didn't want the results to be declared because I wanted to have a shot at Nomura. And then i got that too. But, after a despicable second round of interview, I knew i had missed my (easiest) chance at the 'best' job at NM. As when the wounds were still fresh, Adventity dropped a bombshell "Our client requirements have changed and we won't continue with the internship program". Till then a strong advocate of free labor market, for the first (and the last) time I was sympathizing with the Left front.

Ashamed, broken and shattered, I decided not to forget all of this that i had gone through, for the fear of it's recurrence would keep me going . And internship at IIFCL was just the beginning of what was set to be a huge transformation - of confidence, of image and of self. CFA preparations were intertwined with Internship work & Family obligations. But by the time all of it ended, there was no debris left. It was only hope, backed by self-determination, to carve out a future for myself - amongst the best of GPAs (henceforth, of course), amongst the best of jobs (at NMiMS) & amongst the best finance guys!

IIFCL and CFA were 2 of what i used to call 'the 3 best things that happened to me in 2009'. The third: SFM. I would never be able to thank my SFM Professor (for reposing his faith in me), my SFM group-mate (for pestering me to make one presentation after another) and Anshu (for putting me in a group where there was only one other person from my division) enough, because all of them played a role, which on a hindsight looked indispensable if things were to progress the way they did. The self-confidence that I got from being able to present original and independent ideas to Prof. Sircar, and to be able to argue it out and defend it in front of the finance maestro, was, to say the least, tremendous. Thank you folks!

Then there was this li'l elder sis of mine, who without my realizing, grew up so much so that she was getting wedded. It was an all-MBAs marriage! It's part of a larger upcoming culture - Intra-profession marriages (Doctors marrying Doctors, Software Engineers marrying SEs, etc.)... Well, I am not at all inclined to break the culture either!

SFM was undoubtedly the best course, until Trim 4. Then came the unnerving Dr. Rastogi to teach us nuances...no, to teach us to smell....to smell MONEY! After SFM, I&PF was another groundbreaking experience. The time spent over cases, and over case discussions went a long way in clarifying various concepts of project finance. Another expression of gratitude is to 'This is Ramji', our old-looking young prof who taught the subject most dear to my hear - Fixed Income & Debt Markets. Thank you sirs!

Placement season started, and I was given just 10 hours... yes 10 hours.. to prepare myself for the company which i had been awaiting for 7.5 months. The company, the desire to get into which, kept me propelling to work harder, smarter and faster. But 10 hours proved to be too less, and I didn't make it, as i didn't make it to through 4 other companies that were to follow. With 3 I-Banks slapping a rejection stamp on my face, the so-far forgotten feeling of Summers began to haunt, albeit mildly. Finally, i got through Irevna and was successful in getting a profile of Equity Research.

Trim 5 went along nicely as well. The Evertrust presentation made at M&A class will be remembered, at least by myself, for a long long time. And as they say, good things don't come in isolation...they come in batches. While I was enjoying my vacations in chilling winters of Ranchi, I results of Trim 4, for which i had gone to the examination department upmteen times, were declared. I knew i would do well and I had kept several application-related decisions on holdd, waiting for those results. I secured a GPA of 3.75, next only to the Great Cuckdoo Koo!

It was the second last day of the year, an year which had been, by far, the most eventful, memorable, value-additive yet happening year of my life.

What an year....

Thank you lord...thank you NMiMS..thank you folks!

P.S: Some special friends are conspicuous by their absence in my list of gratification. Well, they deserve much more than that :)

What's on regulators mind?

The half-yearly monetary policy is out and the intent is clear...days of excess liquidity are nearing their end. India becomes the second G-20 economy (after Australia) to begin re-tightening the monetary position.

Sensex and Nifty nosedived and will (perhaps) rebound sooner rather than later but that doesn't tell a thing about the policy.

Chief postulates:

Measure: SLR lower limit restored to 25%

Impact: In isolation, not much because banks are in any case being forced to subscribe to more and more of never-ending G-Sec issuances. Besides, SLR holdings of most banks are way above the limit. However, the increase signaled intention to improve the demand for the balance 25% of annual government market borrowings and consequently, the bond yields fell and prices rallied to 2-3 months highs.

Measure: Hike in provisioning charges for standard assets

Impact: Norms pertaining to IRACP (Income Recognition, Asset Classification & Provisioning) are only going to be strengthened from here on. Though temporarily, in the wake of deteriorating global economic situation, they were relaxed, but the regulator has just got it right in tightening the screws when the financial machinery seemed to be moving a bit too fast. Real estate loans will be dearer for developers) and that will prevent any rebuilding of asset bubbles that was being observed over past few months.

Measure: Hike in PCR (Provisioning Coverage Ratio)

Impact: Banks had long known that they'll have to hike their PCR. In fact, RBI had raised apprehension about very low levels of PCR at State Bank of India in it's previous policy statement in July 2009. While the deadline of its implementation (Sep 2010) may have caught ill-provisioned banks like ICICI Bank, SBI, etc. by surprise, the measure holds well for strengthening the banks' balance sheets and eliminating any possibility of built-up of toxic assets.

Measure: Closure of refinance windows for NBFCs, Mutual Funds, Sector specific exporters, etc.

Impact: This too was just a reversal to a pre-lehman status. While most of these windows were not being used by banks, etc., they had served their purpose of preventing a liquidity crunch (during September 08 to March 09 when it looked like everything around the globe might just collapse).

Did stock indices over-react?

Not really...markets were over-heated and were in any case trading at P/E multiples in the range of 20-22 and the real economic situation did not merit that kind of valuations. DOW is back at sub-10,000 levels and is unexpected to stay above 5 figures, any time soon. Today, US saw 19 bank closures in one single day clearly indicating that there's more of toxic assets, all around, and that things aren't as good as news reporters, in their misplaced over-excitement, tend to make others believe.

Why US growing by 3.5% in Q3 (FY09) is not a reason enough to be ecstatic?

The growth was largely due to the federal government's stimulus packages like: Tax rebates on resale of houses (because that is included in US GDP, unlike Indian system of National Accounting); Cash-for-clunkers scheme which saw all automobile manufacturers lightening their inventories so that the manufacturing cycle starts again. Unemployment numbers too, continue to surge above 10%. The growth is more of government induced one and its effect will start waning sooner rather than later. While US state governments continue to issue billions worth of "Build America" bonds every month, re-building what was one of the most ill-regulated and leveraged economy, is a tall task.

Conclusion:

Till August 2009, RBI was trying to curb inflation. Come crisis and rejuvenating economy became the primary concern. Now, after the situation world over looks to be improving, it was very important for RBI to pre-ride the curve and preempt building up of demand side inflation (Although, given the systemic nature of Indian economy, supply side constraints continue to create inflationary pressures). Inflation, I expect, will surpass 7% by March '10, well above RBI's target of 4-5% as expressed in the Annual Policy in April '09. Still, kudos to RBI for what looks to be a great job done, in spite of new founded intervention of finance ministry in RBI's monetary policy management.

P.S: This was the first time, that a finance secretary expressed his views on a RBI policy within hours of its release. While the government continues to intervene in RBI's matters (right from appointing IAS officers as governors in place of prolific policy makers to influencing RBI officials by repetitive none-of-thy-business briefings), it will be interesting to see how independent RBI can function in days to come!

Grown enough?

Resolutions, as i used to call them, of not having 'indulgences'. Yeah, i am talking about the couplet of drinking and smoking.

The evolution of ideologies:

1987: The bugger called Rishu was just born and knew nothing about anything

Early 1990s:

Saw Dad and his friends having 'something' during their get-together in a room where we were told, in no uncertain terms, that our entry is prohibited. While Dad rarely, if ever, smoked, packs of 'Panama' brand cigarettes was a common sight in Grandpa' closet. At that time, things were so placed, that i wanted to have them just to have the feeling of grown-up. (It was a similar reason why i wanted to ride dad's scooter and drive his car too, 'some day' of course, for the sheer desire of somebody considering me into the elite category of 'grown-ups'.

Mid 90s:

Realized, by plain observation, that one loses consciousness when he drinks too much. Primarily, my uncle (Dad's elder brother) 'led' me to believe this. As for smoking, it was something that causes a cough, severe irreversible coughing at that. No intentions to have indulgences. Of course, the above-mentioned desire continued to exist.

In my teens:

One fine day i was gossiping with a schooltime pal of mine, Reeshav. The discussion somehow came to this subject. I opined that i will definitely chew tobacco, smoke cigarettes and consume alcohol some day after i grow up, rationale for this being that it is an unsaid law that one is supposed to follow once he's big enough! My friend differed. Not that he said that he'll never do any of it. He said that he'll never chew tobacco. To my opinion, he reacted "It's all about one's resolution and one's self-control".

Why then, can't one take a resolution, not to do any of the evil 'trinity'? This question, though never asked, remained unanswered. That was the beginning of mental conflict. The end of it is still to come.

During HSC

(Akin to the time when one is considered to be maturing enough) I had almost decided that i'll never do any of it. Besides, our finances too didn't permit any indulgence. I'd stay happy and satisfied with chutki and thums-up, and forever. Not to mention that i despised young guys who got into any or all of this, i was firmly resolved to stick to it and never, never ever, have any of it.

Graduation:

August '06: I was in Malaysia, my first abroad trip after multiple visits to Nepal, on a Bajaj Auto sponsored distributor reward program. Me, my business partner, and distributors from across the countries formed a group of 40 odd 'Bajaj Group' (as our Singaporean tour guide used to call us). 60% of the group was in late 20s or 30s, few were in 40s, while my partner-cum-room-mate and one Mr. Rao were in their 50s. I was 18, due to turn 19 in less than 2 months, so used to say (if and when some-one asked) that 'I am 19'. I was the second youngest member of the contingent, the youngest being 2 year old 'Pratham, son of a wonderful Lucknow based couple, and in no time everyone used to call me "Mr. 19". On one visit to a Genting casino, i was prevented from sneaking in because it was meant for '21 and above' and so was asked to take care of Pratham, while his parents, and everyone else, have fun in what was Malaysia's largest casino at that time. Can't imagine how much that fumed me! In another way, that was when my 'desire' to be considered big enough was at its peak. Well, that desire cost me, and cost me dearly. I forced myself to go to Crazy Horse, a topless show, because every other grown-up person was going (Naresh Uncle, Of course, promised that he won't leak it to my Dad!) All those couples who used to take a shot at my young age was going and it was my chance to prove to them that i wasn't a kid anymore. Price: 2500 Indian bucks (85 SGD). THe price included a drink of choice. 2 oldies ordered juice and the 'grown-ups' ordered whisky. While i was thinking, in came the nasty remark "Oye Mr. 19...tere ko juice peena ho to hum baahar chal ke 2 glass peela denge, yahaan pe tu juice le ke paise waste mat kariyo...we'll get whisky in place of that." "Mild Beer for me", i ordered immediately. I don't know what purpose it served (or did the perception about me, for which i care a little too much, change after that or not) but that was the first instance of an indulgence for me. The feeling however was good. Beer was ok types but my source of pleasure was the fact that i was actually drinking beer. And about the 100-minute show? Well, comments reserved!

Thereafter, i was resolute enough not to do any of it again. Because, i was convinced that i won't do any of it. A substantial source of strength of that 'internal locus of control' was my Singapore based cousin. During the same visit, i found that out. Bhaiya parties, he socializes, all of it in a circle wherein everyone smokes and drinks, and still, he doesn't do any of it. My admiration of him has only grown ever since. There was however a marked change in another belief of mine. I started realizing that while the trinity is 'bad' the guys who drink/ smoke aren't 'bad' necessarily and that belief was the foundation of something that was to follow.

For 2 years (until July '08) that was my first and last indulgence. Then came Goa (GIM) . almost half of my batch-mates were firmly resolved against the trinity. Eventually, the other half had the better of me! As for smoking, i was firmly committed to non-smoking.

Over last 15 months, i had beer (only beer) - some 5-6 times - only on occasions like freshers' party and farewell, and every time it was complimentary. Till date i have only purchased it once - a bottle of Kingfisher in Daman. Largely, i was committed (until almost a month ago), to not consuming alcohol and tobacco, not even non-vegetarian food.

A review:

August '06: My first beer (and C.H. too)

September '08: My first (and second last) Hukka (which i still don't know how to do properly)

September '09: My first and last cigarette (just took it twice in my mouth after which it was snatched and thrown away!)

26th October '09: My first whiskey!

That answers the titled question, i guess :)

Do Drinking and Dancing only go together?

Don’t mix drinking with driving! Walk when you talk! But don’t talk when you drive. Making its mark amongst all these pairs is that of ‘Drinking & Dancing’. While it’s a democracy and people have the right to differ, I think they make a great ‘couple’.

Dancing – so tiring, yet so refreshing. One can of beer was just the fuel that was needed. I dare say that I never enjoyed dancing like this, ever before. While the body energy levels had subsided considerably, my EQ (Enthusiasm Quotient; a self-patented acronym) was right up there. And I was dancing for as long as I could. I just didn’t want to stop. (Screw u CR!) And for a change, I wasn’t giving a damn as to what would ‘some people’ think about my steps. I wasn’t over-conscious, nor did a FOSTER’S can manage to make me ‘un-conscious’. The overall feeling was just amazing. Yeah, the atmosphere was electric. Guys were cool and the gals were hot! DJ too didn’t ‘suck’. Though I enjoyed it thoroughly, I believe there should be a digital display of lyrics somewhere (celing/wall/wherever) so that musical nerds like me can sing… ok hum along while dancing. The pleasure increases manifold when one knows what one is dancing to!! Most notably, I didn’t repeat the blunder of ‘sporting’ an open footwear to a disco. A never ending photo session followed. Although I was very ecstatic, I had a low strike rate as far as smiling in pics was concerned. Ironical, I know.

Sutra was way better than JW Marriott or Rockbottom. ACs seemed to be working, floor had space to dance, and the cozy feeling was also not missing. Yes, few more complimentary cans would have been great! However, I must say “Well done Students’ Council”. For all the thrashing and bashing you people receive, you guys deserve this compliment.

Reached home the last amongst my roomies and continue to live up to the title of ‘rent payer only’ in my flat J

Changing priorities....changing person

It was August 2008 and the CFA fever was catching fast in our college. I thought about it but the fees (1000 USD) was too prohibitive for something that i myself wasn't convinced about. Besides, after torturous experience at the hands of Dr. Rachhappa in Trim 1, i was no longer sure if I'll be able to handle finance. So i decided not to join the (rat) race. December came and I saw all (well, almost all) CFA guys studying during the nights in the college quad. I realized i was only getting behind in the race. Still i knew that at NMIMS, I'll get a good job even without a CFA degree. January and February brought in lot of turbulence. Placement scene was getting worse and the demon of Lehman Brothers (literally) was haunting B-Schools across the globe. Also, 15 out of 20 odd guys who took L1 from NM made it.

I decided to reason with myself, and reason at length:

Why CFA ?

A: Increases employability (given that i am a Zoology graduate, a CFA would at least bring something concretely 'financial' on my CV); Makes me more competitive amongst batch-mates; Everyone else was doing it! (i m not sure if the last reason has the potential to be the first reason)

Why not CFA?

A: INR 50,000 (a l'il too much)

What if i don't clear it?

It's an unnecessary feeling of insecurity that i must not succumb to.

My mentor-cousin suggested me to focus on academics instead of add-ons like CFA, etc.

Peer-pressure won; every other reasoning went down the drain. In came money from home-sweet-home and on Feb 17 i had joined the rat race. This time around, there were more rats than ever. Almost 50+ people from my batch were taking L1. And i was one of them. Different reasons, one road - L1!

Because i had just witnessed a 'huge' cash outflow, studying (at least immediately) was imperative. So i picked Schweser's notes and started. One week gone, and I was still in the first session. Gradually, the feeling of having undertaken a financial risk abated. Mid-terms, assignments were throwing their heads up and an End-term exam was also waiting. Given that i had promised my cousin to un-screw my already screwed up CGPA, L1 took a backseat. Summer placement? Still no where in sight...

It was April end and i was 10% through with my preparation. One month to go, five books to decode and a summer internship to undertake. Welcome sleepless nights. (whoever said they were gone forever!) I had to make every decision of mine subservient to L1. Taking up an accommodation in CP (Connuaght Place) at more than double the price. Sleeping less. Eating fast. Not wasting time on washing clothes (in fact i ended up wearing a pair of trouser 12 days!) But the internship couldn't be compromised with. So L1 was yet to become the 'bird's eye' for my eyes.

3rd week of May and i got the news that i had to show up at Mumbai for my 'interviewing' my prospective jijaji! Hell broke loose on me. Dad wasn't going to go to Mumbai without me and 'sentiments' outweighed rationale and i was asked to 'squeeze out' one day from my CFA prep days. Priorities had changed, and CFA still wasn't up at the top. I realized that I'll have to take a week's leave from my internship. Fortunately, my mentor was planning a trip in the same week and i was saved the trouble of having to answer the difficult questions at IIFCL. So, i got a 10-day leave and left for Mumbai. If only i would have known what i was in for. Receiving people from airport, 'interviewing' di's prospective groom, helping di for the 'interview', making arrangements, attending birthday parties, attending engagement and then seeing everybody off. It all ended on May 31st night. While my happiness knew no bounds at my sis having got engaged in Mumbai, i also realized i had made a terrible shit out of preparations. What was thought to be a one-day commitment turned to take 3 vital days out of my CFA preps.

6 days between me and 'CFA Sunday', and i had only completed first reading of 3 out of 5 books while my roommate had completed 3 revisions and most of those rats were into their 2nd revision. With 6 days to go, CFA was the only thought, It was the fuel, it was the fire. I had read IITians, etc. telling in their interviews to local newspapers in Ranchi how they used to put 16-20 hours daily, for months. I only used to quip "These guys have got to be crazy!" But I did what i had never imagined in my life: 16-18 hours of studies per day for a week. Nights in the college library and quad, 5-10 (am) sleep, etc.. Life was hell. Though i must admit, with all modesty, that the preparation was not boring. In fact, it was enjoyable and kept my 'enthu' going. June 7, CFA came and gone. I had, what i thought, a reasonable set of exams (L1 had two exam seatings). I had done whatever i could. Well, almost. Now was the time to reshuffle my priorities. While most of my batch-mates were headed to their homes to spend a vacation, i had to go back to complete my internship, which i very responsibly did. Fortunately, i had a great internship and the learning was immense to say the least, Three months of CFA-internship-etc. juggle had changed something in me. Managed to get a week's vacation at Ranchi most of which, ironically enough, went in Public Sector Banks' offices.

Was back at NM after a long time. Fresh faces were seen all around, and i realized that i was now a 'senior'. It took me a month to settle with the 'senior' feeling in my final year of graduation. Somehow, i feel there have to people senior to me! Here, the setting-in of the 'senior' feeling didn't take time. College results were declared and i got a GPA of 3.50 (15th in the batch of 250+). Suddenly, i was doing better in my classes. I was doing assignments on time and people were asking my inputs (it had been the other way round in whole of the first year). SFM (Strategic Financial Management) classes were bringing the best out of me. Everything had changed. July 28, the D-day had come. 6:30 pm it was, and rushed to the library. While the Internet was loading, i was reciting my patented "Trayam vakam, yajamhe.....". As the dots (of Internet) were increasing, everything that had been made sub-servient to CFA L1 (and everything that made CFA L1 sub-servient to it) was flashing before my eyes. Life had come to standstill. The page opened and my eyes caught the glimpse of 'PASS'.

Yuhhhhhuuuuuuuuu! CFA L1, finally!

Call Dad, Call Mom, Call Sisters, Call friends, Call Call Call. The burden of expectations was too huge to handle. I just didn't know what to do. So i 'discharged' my cell balance, to talk. I knew, life for me would never be the same hereafter. Something had changed over the course of past three months. Something had changed forever...

Thank you God, thank you!

Socially responsible ??

CSR was close to being the most abused acronym, until the recent financial turmoil left most corporate philanthropists struggling to fulfill their primary responsibility – to churn profits for their shareholders! No, this isn’t another of those articles which delves into causes of the crisis or into ‘Why CSR’. This is about social responsibility. Not CSR, albeit PSR (Personal Social Responsibility- a term I first heard at a matrimonial interview last month)

Some wise man had said “All human beings are inherently good”. Somewhere down in our hearts all of us have that burning desire (though the flame is often close to getting extinguished) – To do something for our society, our place, our country and the human fraternity in general. I was no different. I was always a witness to elders in my family helping the unprivileged, partly due to PSR (gosh, then the term mustn’t have been existing) and partly because the Holy Scriptures asked them to do so. Whatever be the driving motto, the output was indisputably benevolent. Then was my exposure to Social Responsibility at two places, though the driving motto again wasn’t CSR/PSR. One was via my elder sister on her rural field visits. Here, while I was her kiddo brother dropping and picking her up, she was there for a course requirement, which she herself doesn’t know (probably even today) why she took up at the first place. My participation, under the banner of “Vandeep” at St. Xavier’s College, in various Plantation drives, was my extracurricular activity which was meant to be inflated and presented to my interviewers for MBA entrances. Whoever said Social Responsibility is a one-way flow of goods & services!

Of late, however, I have noticed a marked…..okay, a reasonable amount of change. This time I don’t see any explicit motto of self-benefit driving my actions. On at least four occasions, I have counseled a LIG family to focus on education and family planning. At one such instance, I went overboard and over did that counseling! I have been asking rick (what others call an auto rickshaw) drivers to work harder to educate their kids. I asked a Puchkawala in Mumbai to manage his work himself, and send his son to the govt. school. I have pacified fights in Delhi Metro twice, once when a lady who jumped the queue was taken to task by a male traveler, and the other one had the reverse flow of ‘words’ when a male refused to vacate a seat marked ‘only for ladies’, and a Punjabi lady ripped him apart. I have been talking politely to almost every Grade IV/ LIG employee from watchmen and liftmen to vegetable vendors and barbers in saloons. While this has lead to a marked change in my HQ (happiness quotient, which increased at my satisfaction of having “meaningfully contributed”), I am sure it would have made those otherwise ‘trifle’ people feel important and, I dare say, resolute.

I had no idea whatsoever that I would pull myself one day into mediating peace between a couple. This incident dates back to first week of May in Delhi. I was walking to the Rajiv Chowk metro station in CP after office when a gentleman stops me. “Sir, this lady has lost ******** (even I missed the word, honestly), can you please help her”. I turned my eyes to find lady in early 30s, red-faced and ready-to-cry. She was holding her daughter, and the poor kid was crying aloud with one hand being held hard and the other hand holding an ice-cream which was diminishing in size without being consumed. I stopped. The mother-daughter duo looked lost in the busy streets of CP. Not sure of what I heard, I offered the lady my help or if she needed a cell phone to call some acquaintance. The lady was awestruck. I insisted on offering help. The man replied “Don’t worry. She’s my wife and she lost the contact number of her cousin whom we were going to visit. Now she’s gone mad and is shouting at me. You please don’t worry”. I had hardly made any sense of that when the lady pounced, “You Rascal.” I couldn’t believe what was happening. Was that for me, no why would anyone (even an insane looking lady for that matter) slang a passerby who only committed the crime of offering genuine help? No, it was for her husband who was trying to make joker out of his wife. I stood speechless for few seconds. The lady drove her daughter’s hand and started walking towards CP (towards the direction where I was coming from). The man stood where he was. I tried following the lady to a few steps yelling something. Perhaps, I wanted to say ”Mam I am sorry for him”. Thank God I didn’t (mouth those words). The man waved at me and followed his wife, munching the groundnuts he was carrying. Enough of it, I thought, and moved briskly towards my station. I stopped, thinking that maybe I should have done something to sort things out. Whoa! I continued my walk leaving the couple to their destiny and mutual understanding. What else was I, a lad of 21 who’s yet to have a successful relationship (okay, yet to have his first girlfriend), supposed to do to help a couple who had been married for at least 6-7 years.

Fortunately or unfortunately, that was my last major ‘encounter’ and the PSR thing has been put on hold since then. Till I get a new motto to continue…

Can 2 hours of daily travelling still be enjoyable?

After being in Mumbai for almost a year, travelling is no more a pain. While for a beginner getting into a local train seemed to be too scaring, sooner rather than later, the push-in and push-out (read boarding and de-boarding) becomes an integral part of one's daily life. So, when i landed up at Delhi for my summers (and for summer training), i was sure that it can’t be worse than what i had already experienced. But Boy-o-boy, what an amazing experience I was in for!!

My morning travel schedule:
8:29 a.m. –Metro feeder bus from Shalimar area to Netaji Subhash Place metro station
8:51 a.m. – Metro from NSP to Kashmiri Gate
9:14 a.m. – Metro from Kashmiri Gate to Rajiv Chowk
9:30 a.m. – Office-office

But the journey wasn’t tiring. It was actually wonderful. Not the least because everything was good. Like people actually queuing up for a metro train (ask any local train commuter in Mumbai and he’ll be astounded to hear that), clean and well maintained trains and station premises, punctuality in operations, air-conditioned coaches, escalators, smart card to scan-in and scan-out, security arrangements, timely announcements….the list is long. Everything mentioned above is appreciable, no doubt about that. But that is not a KCA of my current post. (Key Concern Area – been long since i last used a jargon in one of my presentations; wheeew, feeling gr8)

What do you do when you have one hour to spend in the morning, and no one to talk? Yeah, no one to talk for one full hour!! For those good-for-nothing-else fellows who would study using some xerox material for some exam, which is months away, please don’t read ahead. Now for those interesting, intelligent, candid, and most importantly observing guys (n gals) who would rather choose something else to make informed investment decision (lolzzz, here comes another over-abused phrase from a would-be-MBA) as to how to spend their precious little time, i have something to share. I chose the time to observe the feminine folk in general. K, kidding, not everyone, only young girls! But this wasn’t the typical NSP (nain-suk prapti; word courtesy: my sis) or a usual checking-out-a-gal. Honestly! I am serious. Gosh, i know it’s difficult to chew but I actually wasn’t checking them out. I was observing them. How each girl is so-so different than the previous one? I mean pick 100 random girls from a metro coach and each one would have a different statement to make. The beauty was mesmerizing, to say the least. So I chose to observe them, obviously – without getting noticed. The feeling was jittery, to begin with. But as I gained experience, I was calmer and cooler, and yeah – more observing.

Details to follow…

How UnLuCkY can one get ?

Had hardly enjoyed home-coming when the bombshell was dropped. Got the info that i am unplaced, again. The "Client requirements", of the company i was placed with, had changed and they were "sincerely apologetic" about not being able to "accommodate" me. Huh! What's the limit of being unlucky, i mean how unlucky can one get? I had my answer with myself. Nothing, on this Earth, is for sure! If ever things were to get bad in future, they couldn't (and wouldn't) get worse than this. So in financial jargon, my luck had "bottomed out". Whoa!

And the count of 201 days, was again ticking... So again rushed back to Mumbai, cooked up stories to convince parents, w/o revealing the actual stuff, lest they would have got (over)worried. Still some ppl say "Why do guys hide things from their parents?"; wHtever!

Anyways, phones were ringing day in-day out. Friends trying to help in whichever way the could have. Placecom members taking time off their own busy schedules (during internship) to help me get placed was really overwhelming. The entire batch was placed, while most of them had already started their summers. And here I was - directionless, and still continuing with the hunt that began on September 19th. Contacts of my contacts were of no avail, still everyone was doing his/her bit (including my roomies who ensured that I do not get too depressed). 

Finally, got myself (with others' help) a decent project with a finance co in Delhi. Now packing my bags for the capital city. Hope i am not in for any more (unlucky) surprises there!

A Surprise visit back home.........

The two weeks since pre-exam time have been a roller coaster ride. First placed after a terribly long wait, then a chance to sit for the  best company on campus this year, then regretting my Physics marks in 12th boards, and finally settling down with all that i hv got (settling after having unsettled quite a few nerves in placecom). 

Internship postponed by a week (yipppppy), rush back home without a reserved ticket. Due to impatience (Hadbadiya, as my dad puts it) i just missed the chance to give my mom a pleasant suprise :( 

Now enjoying (read EATING) like never b4 with 4 meals a day, snacks and high-tea extraaa! Putting on like anything, sure to gain 5 kilos b4 losing it all during my internship. Eatingg time...

p.s: I did repay the principal and the interest at the temple, as per my earlier resolution!

Gone are the sleepless nights......

Finally, one of the longest waits of my life comes to an end. The marathon period saw me appearing in as many as 28 GDs and 8 Interviews, dozens of Pre Placement Talks, but the largest count is that of my CVs. So I sat down to take a count of the bond papers that went into the drain, and it came out to be a whopping 130 copies. The ‘night’ was long. A wait as long as 201 days! In such gloomy economic conditions, the placecomm was doing a terrific job. Getting 120 odd people placed with the corporate behemoths, in a week, is no mean task. But, not everything was in their hands. So, the rest of us had no choice but to wait. To wait for the wait to get over! September passed by. But so did all the succeeding 5 months. It was March 2009. Against the forecast of my roomies (who had all predicted that I would be the first one, amongst the 5 of us, to get placed), I turned out to be the last one. Some wise men rightly commented “You can only make a lucky forecast or a wrong forecast’’. But all these days, I had been feeling defeated.  Every process, every rejection came as a rude shock. How can I be so bad? Didn’t I deserve a placement? Or, didn’t I, at the first place, deserve a seat at NMIMS? Every passing day eroded a layer of hope and self-belief, or whatever little I had of it. The days saw ecstasy and dejection, hypertension and hyper-excitement, nervousness and determination, all interspersed with days of waiting. At one point of time, I was under so much pressure that for a week I saw myself, in my dreams, attending placement processes and screwing them up. While in one dream I saw myself turning out in casuals, in another I saw myself failing to get up from my slumber. My roomies witnessed me murmuring in my dreams, but they never knew what I was talking, or at least that is what they claimed. I was crumbling under Placement-pressure, and still I had to pretend, to the outside world, that I wasn’t. Never before in my life did I realize how a big failure feels. Friends, relatives, family members – everyone was concerned, and reasonably so. Some said “Dude, you aren’t bad at all’’, while other said ‘’Tension mat le Bhai, ho jayega’’. Parents were more worried, knowing that all through my life I had never before felt so lonely and so dejected. They always kept me going. So, I would say to them that I wasn’t worried and that good companies were yet to come. Deep in my heart, I knew that they were aware of the ground realities but little could they have done to help me in this case. To others I would put up other excuses. All this while, I understated the number of placed students, so that they don’t feel….. My Mom used to say ‘’ Jab voh din nhi rhe to yeh din bhi nhi rhenge’’. Well she was right. Lives change, and change for the good. Yesterday was my last interview, which followed a staggering round of finance based quiz. But I had learnt the bitter message of not building hopes, to avoid dejection upon the hoes not being fulfilled. So, when Vohra congratulated me yesterday evening, I went blank. I just didn’t know what happened. I could see all those 6 and a half months flashing before me. I thanked him and left. Finally, I am placed. I have landed up with a good finance profile, in a Multinational. The stipend is low, but it is much higher than what I was ready to settle with at that stage. The project seems to offer tremendous exposure and great learning opportunities. Walking back to my hostel, I was thinking of thanking every person who helped me to get here - Family (comes first), Placecomm (for working day and night selflessly), Placecomm friends (going out of their ways to help me), my “The group’’ friends (for reinforcing my confidence and taking mock interviews), seniors (for their continuous support), roomies (for their optimistic forecasts), relatives (trying to get me placed somewhere), friends back home. The list is long and my heart is heavy.

There were some last moment hitches at some excitingly better placement opportunities that I was to come across. In desperation, I was selfish and mean, and highly unprofessional. But still, my friends stood by my side. I apologize to each one of them, but I don’t thank them, because they deserve much more than a thank you.

When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often, we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

Still, gone are the days of worry. Can look forward to some sound sleep. No, got to focus on exams starting early next week, and internship immediately thereafter. NM rocks!

Main aisa kyun hoon..

Scene 1

Year 1993

It all started (or rather ended) with an incident, 15 years ago. I was in Std I. We were supposed to perform on the patriotic number “yeh desh hai veer javano ka”. It was a big group comprising of some 12 boys and girls, dressed in traditional attire – each representing a different culture of our country. I was endowed with a chance to wear a dhoti and having seen my grandfather, I was too eagerly to take dhoti as my dress, while others were fighting for choices. So, the day had come and assumedly, rehearsals had been fine. At the last moment (at least that is how I remember it) we were asked to change some of our dance ‘steps’. Everything went fine, until my wardrobe ‘malfunctioned’. Actually, towards the end, it so happened that everyone was going round and round with the beat oooooooooo (that follows the part yeh desh hai duniya kagehna). I went over the board a way too much and was enjoying myself dangling round-and-round. Suddenly, my dhoti (which my mom had tied up for me) flew open. I was singled out and my dance instructor shouted later “ab kbhi mat bolna ki dance krna hai”. I was a laughing stock for my classmates till months that followed. I thought I would, in due course of time, recuperate from the shock.

Scene 2

Year 1999

My favorite cousin at my Nanighar was getting married and the excitement surrounding his marriage was huge. It was the marriage that so many relatives of mine had been looking forward to. The stakes were high. And the “Geet-sammelan” preparations were on, with huge fanfare. I also succumbed to the temptation, and decided to present a dance on K2H2, a popular recent release in those days. So there was this friend of my sister (yeah, she was pretty….) who came to my place to help me (and my sister) learn the steps. And I was the butt of laughter & ridicule “body itna stiff kyun hai”, ”arey gadhe aise nhi aise kro” and son on and so forth. Finally, after two days of toiling hard, I gave up L Yeah, while all my cousins were performing, I was ruing not having put enough effort and loosing it all! At the same time I had lost hope that I’ll ever learn to dance

Scene 3

Year 2008/09

A decade has passed. From high school I have moved onto a management college.  During a visit to the Times Utsav, there was a promotional training by a reputed dance institute, and they were teaching Salsa. That was one of the first instances where I garnered the courage to do what I wanted to. So threw away my bag, and started the training. And my Enthu level– my friends would vouch for that! I knew I wasn’t any better at the workshop but then who cares. I wanted to dance, I love dancing – so what if my body is stiff, my movements aren’t proper, and I am very conscious. I am not doing for anyone else’s sake. It was me dancing for myself. Or at least I like to think so! So when I was dancing yesterday in the salsa workshop during Euphoria, I was only euphoric about it. I m trying, and am trying hard. Ravinder is contemplating to join full-time salsa classes, and I am thinking of joining him. I hope I am able to. Otherwise, at my rate, it’ll take me another decade to start moving.

"Pappu'' is not all that alone.......

 

Repentance does (not) last long

Every single time I have screwed up (read underperformed) any of my examination papers, I have prayed (and prayed hard) to the Almighty to get me across (read 'get me more marks than I deserve') 'this one time' with a promise 'to study hard(er) hereafter'. Almost all my prayers got answered - be it Geography in Std. VII, Physics in Std. IX, Mathematics in Std. XI, Biology in Std. XII, my BBA entrance test at Symbi, and all my zoology papers across 3 years, and final call from NMIMS (here my praying efforts supplemented those of my Mom)! At times, he was more than generous for letting me top (in final semester at Xavier's) and most of the times I wasn't disappointed.   

Two exceptions did exist - One being my botany (subsidiary) paper in Sem 1 which also happens to be the only academic paper that I flunked in my life :); the other one being my PMTs, where without having toiled I expected my god to see me through. Unarguably, I don't regret not having cleared my PMTs – coz if I would have, I would have , by now, jumped (under stress and immaculate amount of tension)  from  6th floor of some medical college, and worse, I would not have been writing this blog! 

I responded by paying a 'thanksgiving' visit to ‘Pahari Mandir’, a temple of Lord Shiva situated on the hills of Ranchi. The tradition was unbroken, until yesterday.    

Yesterday I was quite relieved not to see my name in the list of Financial Analytics 'disasters'. Besides, I yet again got a GPA which, I feel, was more than what I deserved. So I once again cleared a paper, FA, but this time was denied an opportunity to thank my lord. So I was wondering that as I 'defaulted' on this 'payment', my 'account' with lord might be declared a 'Non-performing asset' and that I might not be entitled to any 'disbursements' in future. (Gosh! I can actually write for some business newspaper).   

So I have decided on two things - the payment which I have just defaulted on would be deposited, with interest, on my next visit to my hometown (core 'banking' solution is yet to reach temples in Ranchi); and  not to rely on borrowings (read prayers) any more to see me through in my examinations. GPAs for second trimester are out and i have shown some marginal improvement. Still, to take my CGPA to a 'respectable' level that sees me through the placement season next year, I have decided to study (hard), and to complement it with my prayers, of course.    

Bol bam!

Mumbai ai'nt all that bad....

This was supposed to be my first post. Accidentally, the contents got replaced while publishing my second post today; am still to come to terms with this irrecoverable loss!.Hope i can pen down my feelings again!